I wish there weren’t the news stories of girls being assaulted in bathrooms by trans men (sic, see below).

Here’s my good news for My Friend Timmy. There are no news stories. Zero. Zilch. There are no news stories of trans women sneaking into ladies’ rooms to assault girls.

That may sound unbelievable to you, as it certainly would to My Friend Timmy, but I’ve been researching it since Timmy tried to find that middle ground with me on March 4.

There may be one or two cases, depending on how you count, of trans women being accused of such, but no convictions have happened yet. They’re either not finished cases, or they happened in private bathrooms. And that means zero cases of this happening in public restrooms. Zero. Zilch. Check my facts; maybe I missed one or two.

The focus on public bathrooms is not an effective way to deal with the problem of child sexual abuse. Even cis people don’t tend to abuse people in public restrooms; it’s people known to the victim, at the home of the victim or the abuser.

Footnote: A trans woman is someone who presents as a woman — likely assigned male at birth. A trans man is a someone who presents as a man — likely assigned female at birth. They both want to pee where they’re the least likely to get assaulted.

P.S.: Men who want to enter women’s spaces to rape them do it all the time, without checking their outfit or the sign on the door first.

The real take-away here? People like my friend Timmy “wish” there weren’t all of these trans people abusing people. And there are not, wish granted. These people don’t even know the proper terms for trans people but are justifying their vote because they’re so informed that they know it’s going to save us from a fake monster under the bed. That’s detached from reality. Or then again — is it?

Even if the monster is fake, the votes have real effects in the world. There almost 600 anti-trans bills being considered the U.S., right now. None of them are making anyone safer, and many of them are making me and people like me less safe. It’s not a matter of debate — it’s a matter of lies and truth, and I’m sick of hearing it.

Ignorance has a cost even if the ignorant won’t be the ones to pay it.

I get why it might sound logical at first, but when you dig into it, it doesn’t hold up. This hits close to home for me.

Puberty by its nature starts young — usually between 8 and 13. Earlier for girls, later for boys, but that’s the range. Now, imagine being a kid in elementary school, and your body starts changing way too soon. Whiskers, deeper voices, or chest development when you’re still playing on the playground. That’s called precocious puberty, and it’s rough—physically and socially. Since the 1980s, doctors have used puberty blockers to hit pause on those changes. The kid eventually stops taking the meds, and puberty picks back up like it never stopped. No permanent changes, just a breather to keep things on track.

Now, here’s where it gets personal. I went through what I would call the “wrong” puberty. If I’d had access to blockers to pause things while I sorted out who I was, my life might look a lot different today. Instead, I’m facing years of expensive procedures to undo what happened back then. That’s not just a medical bill—it’s a weight I carry every day. Puberty blockers are reversible; puberty isn’t, not without a lot of pain and cost.

For kids facing puberty and questioning their gender, it’s the same deal. Blockers can give them time to figure things out with their doctors, parents, and therapists. Generally, the rules will require them to have been working on this stuff for a year or two before medicine is indicated. Prior to that, it’s about names, pronouns, clothes, and stuff.

So these aren’t snap decisions. It’s a team effort, with professionals and families making sure it’s the right call. When I hear folks say, “Just wait until they’re 18,” I want to ask: Wait for what? For puberty to lock in changes that might break their heart or their body? That’s not protecting kids; that’s setting them up for a harder road.

Some folks try to split hairs, saying blockers are fine for early puberty but not for trans kids. Or they simply ignore the fact that no child ever makes a medical decision on their own; their parents make those decisions with the advice of doctors.

These are frightening stances to take. The meds do the same thing: they pause puberty, period. Whether it’s for health or identity, the goal is to give kids a chance to grow up without irreversible changes they’re not ready for yet. Denying that is saying that their parents and healthcare professionals are not to be trusted, by which logic no kid can ever get any medical attention at all. Denying that is telling a kid, “Tough luck, deal with it later,” when we have a safe, reversible option right there.

I’m not saying this is simple. It’s a big decision, and it should be handled carefully. But that’s why parents, doctors, and therapists are involved—not politicians. When I think about kids who might be spared the struggles I went through, it breaks my heart to see people pushing to take this option away. We’re talking about real kids, real families, and real futures. If we can help them avoid a lifetime of regret with a treatment that’s been studied and used for decades, why wouldn’t we?

States in the US are starting to classify the provision of these medicines as “child abuse” — please, if this issue comes before the legislature or courts in your state, understand that withholding these medicines is the true irreversible child abuse.